God loves you so much, and you don’t have to stay chained to your spiritual death and bondage to sin my friend. So please listen carefully to what I’m about to say.
I’m sharing what I’m sharing with you as someone who’s been on both sides of the threshold. I’ve been in spiritual death, and now I’m in spiritual life, (so I understand what your life is like right now in your misery).
Listen, your problem isn’t addictions, lying, rage, depression, pride, vanity and such, (those are merely symptoms of your problem). Your problem is that you’re spiritually dead on the inside. And your local church can’t fix your spiritual death, neither can you fix your spiritual death by your becoming a better person…what you need is spiritual life that only God can give.
Only a one-on-one encounter with the risen Lord Jesus Christ will transfer you from the prison of spiritual death that you’re currently in, to joyous spiritual life.
Here’s what I did, and I recommend the same thing for you:
Find your quiet place, (anywhere that you you can talk with God in private), and pour your heart out to God.
Not about your earthly problems that you want fixed, (those requests can come later if you want), but right now you need to be focused on receiving forgiveness of your sins and receiving Jesus’ spiritual life.
Be honest with God about your sin guilt, and crave His mercy and reconciliation.
Call upon the risen Lord Jesus Christ to save you. Come as a beggar to Him with nothing but neediness.
Some people receive new spiritual birth right away, (which is wonderful)!
And others must keep pressing in to God before receiving His peace. (I was such a case, and you may be too).
[Which reminds me of Jacob wrestling with God until he received His blessing, (Genesis 32.22-32), Joseph’s brothers who were repeatedly drawn before Joseph in a state if guilt before receiving relief from their guilt (Genesis chapters 42-50), and the woman of Canaan who appealed unto Jesus even when He answered her not a word, (Matthew 15.21-28).
All of the people mentioned here were answered by God favorably by the way].
So don’t give up, keep pressing in to God until you receive your blessing of eternal life.
He knows your heart, and if it’s forgiveness and eternal life that you’re really seeking, He will give it to you. He loves to lavish grace upon sinners.
You’ll know when you’ve passed over from spiritual death to spiritual life when you’ve believed on the Son of God.
You’ll be resting in the finished work of Christ as your entire rightstanding with God, and your heart will be new too.
(You’ll love the things of the Lord Jesus Christ, and you’ll hate the world and sin).
You’ll have new indwelling-power by the Spirit of God to resist sin and the devil that you didn’t previously have.
In summary, you’ll walk in newness of life.
New identity, new joy, new hope, new affections…new everything 🙂
[I didn’t say that you’ll stop sinning or that you won’t still have struggles with sin, (your flesh doesn’t get born again, your spirit does).
But you won’t be controlled & defined by sin the way that you used to be.
Your inner man will be different and new].
So I leave you with some scripture to comfort you in your pursuit of newness of life:
“Yea, his soul draweth near unto the grave, and his life to the destroyers.
23 If there be a messenger with him, an interpreter, one among a thousand, to shew unto man his uprightness:
24 Then he is gracious unto him, and saith, Deliver him from going down to the pit: I have found a ransom.
25 His flesh shall be fresher than a child’s: he shall return to the days of his youth:
26 He shall pray unto God, and he will be favourable unto him: and he shall see his face with joy: for he will render unto man his righteousness.
27 He looketh upon men, and if any say, I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not;
28 He will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light.
29 Lo, all these things worketh God oftentimes with man,
30 To bring back his soul from the pit, to be enlightened with the light of the living.“
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
“All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.”
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
1 John 4:10
“Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
1 John 5:7-15
7 “For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.
8 And there are three that bear witness in earth, the spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one.
9 If we receive the witness of men, the witness of God is greater: for this is the witness of God which he hath testified of his Son.
10 He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he that believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the record that God gave of his Son.
11 And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.
12 He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life.
13 These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
14 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
15 And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.”