The salvation testimony of Howard “Lee” Poskey:
Hi there my friend, my testimony is intended to assist you in recognizing & understanding the work of God in saving a lost sinner, and to be honoring to God.
First of all, you should know that God loves you very much my friend, and He loves you enough that He gave His only begotten Son to be punished unto death for your sins, (so that you wouldn’t have to be punished for your sins), if you’ll only receive His gift of eternal life by faith. And you must understand that all of humanity, (regardless of how moral, religious, or kind someone is) is already in a state of condemnation apart from their being born again, (see: Romans 3.10, 3.12, 3.23, 6.23, and John 3.18, & 3.36).
“He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.”
Therefore when someone comes to the Lord Jesus Christ (legitimately) for salvation, they come as a guilty sinner to Him, desiring His mercy. Therefore please don’t ignore the guilt that you may feel in your consciousness. (That’s God drawing you to Himself for your salvation). Yes God is love, and an expression of His love is to make you aware of your need for His cleansing of your guilt & sin, (so that you can be saved).
I for one, was very wicked prior to my being born again. And you’d think that I would have been able to recognize that fact easily enough on my own, but I was spiritually blind to it. So God applied a perfect mixture of me having a craving for Him, and me feeling my guilt in my consciousness. This is how He opened my eyes to the spiritual reality that was going on inside of me…
How God triggered my desire for salvation was, in the summer of 2012, I encountered a security guard at my work who was watching one of those “near death experience” videos on YouTube. (I do NOT endorse those videos, but God can use anything He wants to get someone’s attention). And that video intrigued me so much that I watched it for myself later that evening. Anyway, near the end of that video, the narrator said something like: “you’re deciding your fate of heaven or hell right now.”
And over the next year or so, a war raged inside of me that I’ll never forget as long as I live.
I wasn’t going to church at that time, so I wasn’t sure what I needed to do regarding my salvation questions… Where do I go for answers? Am I saved? How do I get saved?… And I frequently thought back to my charismatic-days when I was as a young adult in the mid 1980s.
(But this was now 25 + years after I had abandoned God and anything religious). I was now coming to God desperate for mercy, and uninformed & uncertain of just about everything religious.
With my main fear being: I had committed so much wickedness over the years, surely God couldn’t forgive me now…not after all the stuff I’d done. Over and over again, I would plead with God to please not throw me away.
I also immersed myself into all kinds of churches, looking for a place to base myself as a man who’s pursuing God, and seeking relief from my guilt. But none of institutionalized religion had the cure for what ailed me, I was still a miserable wreck of guilt on my insides no matter what church methodology I pursued.
Over and over I’d beg God for forgiveness, on my face, on the roadside…anywhere and everywhere that the pangs of guilt would flood my consciousness… I would put my face to the ground and seek God’s forgiveness.
I also made restitution to people & businesses that I’d wronged, and I confessed a lot of sins to a lot of people that I’d sinned against, seeking their forgiveness.
But my guilt still wasn’t fixed on my insides.
Because as soon as I would fix one old sin that came to my mind, a new old sin of mine would then come to my mind, and I would then have to deal with that sin just as I had done the ones before it. There seemed to be no end to my guilt consciousness, and in many instances, these were serious sins that I was dealing with. So much so, that if I wasn’t shown mercy by the people that I was seeking forgiveness from, my life could have been ruined … and I was becoming a mental wreck in all of this! (This was a scary time in my life folks). When would my guilt end!?
…(And I thank God that He intervened and gave me His blessed relief from my burden of guilt and shame).
God took that burden off of me. He gave me that relief when He opened my eyes spiritually.
He showed me that Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection accomplished my total forgiveness and justification before God the Father, and it was all mine by grace through faith.
And as a result, I genuinely BELIEVED ON JESUS!
God’s truth clicked inside of me one night while I was all alone driving my truck. And when His truth was quickened inside of me, I literally screamed and yelled in blissful relief…”I’M FORGIVEN! I’M FORGIVEN! I’M REALLY AND TRULY FORGIVEN!” As I jumped up and down banging on my truck’s headliner. Praise God, I was born again!!!
OH THE RELIEF TO BE FORGIVEN!!! IT’S INDESCRIBABLE!
(I was also baptized by immersion during my early days of having been born again).
And may I add please, that something profound happened to my insides when I was born again. This miracle of new spiritual birth didn’t end at my receiving relief from my guilt. I now crave to follow God every day, and I can’t get enough of His word; His word is like air that I must have continually. My desires are new and different, literally…everything that defines who I am on the inside is a new person, and all of it is thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ for giving me His life.
My only part in receiving His mercy and eternal life was to believe on the Son of God as my Saviour.
And it’s all equally-there for you too my friend.
Believe on the Son of God, and call upon Him to save you. And you too will receive forgiveness, righteousness, & eternal life from Him just as I did.
For a brief explanation of how I know that I’m saved, it’s this:
1. I responded to God’s call to me, desiring His mercy, knowing that I was a guilty, hell-deserving & hell-bound sinner.
2. God now indwells me, His Spirit bears witness with my spirit.
3. I rest in the finished work of the risen Lord Jesus Christ. His death, burial, and resurrection is the sum-total of my right-standing with God the Father. I rest in the Lord Jesus Christ’s righteousness; His righteousness is my righteousness.
All glory to the risen Lord Jesus Christ! And no glory to us whatsoever!